Wake your parents and younger sibling at 6 AM with the proclamation: I wake up! - Check
Demand crackers and juice by repeating the words over and over and over and over and over until you are finally seated and served. - Check
Wet your new pull-up diaper within five minutes of, well, pulling it up. - Check
Pee on the floor. - Check
Demand to be let into the bathroom where your mother is getting ready to take a shower. - Check
Squat on toddler-toilet and do nothing. Yet, refuse to get up. - Check
(Meanwhile, your sister will be crawling her way across the kitchen floor and - whoops -slide down in the mess you made, thus dampening the sundress your mother just put on her.)
Throw a tantrum when your father removes you from the potty so that your mother can take a shower. - Check
Refuse to put on a new pull-up. - Check
When all else fails, scream and bang your head on whatever surface is nearest. - Check
In the car on the way to your memere's house, ask "Momma? Boo boo?" and then point to the bug bite on the back of your mother's arm. - Check
Ask, "I kiss?" (and proceed to blow kisses) - Check
Sit back and watch as your mother's heart melts. - Check, check, check.
Labels: Kids, Motherhood, The Boss