Almost two years ago, we were in our condo during a sweltering summer evening. Heat that sticks to you, sliding on your skin as you move, thick heat. Miserable, suffocating, horrible heat. And The Boss was teething.
I mostly remember him screaming, waling from his crib, and then in my arms, unsoothable. Uncalmable. Making himself hotter, his skin clammier and stickier with each scream - as I held him, nearer and nearer to myself, to my own warm body, humming Jingle Bells, of all things.
And eventually, walking, humming, pressing his head against my chest, his limbs began to dangle, giving up the fight and just moving with me as I swayed us both in his nursery.
I remember thinking at that exact moment, how precious this time is - the time when they're holdable, when they're no longer from head-to-toe than my torso, when I'm able to simple hug them 'till they're sleeping.
Lila is at the same stage now. Teething. Needing cuddles and soothing humming. Summer's coming. Life is repeating itself, in a sweet, comforting way, while my older child spins around my calves on the floor, offering me plastic hot dogs and telling me to put Lila down to play with him.
But I can't put her down. If I do, this time will pass - quicker, perhaps. And I'm just not ready to let it go.
I mostly remember him screaming, waling from his crib, and then in my arms, unsoothable. Uncalmable. Making himself hotter, his skin clammier and stickier with each scream - as I held him, nearer and nearer to myself, to my own warm body, humming Jingle Bells, of all things.
And eventually, walking, humming, pressing his head against my chest, his limbs began to dangle, giving up the fight and just moving with me as I swayed us both in his nursery.
I remember thinking at that exact moment, how precious this time is - the time when they're holdable, when they're no longer from head-to-toe than my torso, when I'm able to simple hug them 'till they're sleeping.
Lila is at the same stage now. Teething. Needing cuddles and soothing humming. Summer's coming. Life is repeating itself, in a sweet, comforting way, while my older child spins around my calves on the floor, offering me plastic hot dogs and telling me to put Lila down to play with him.
But I can't put her down. If I do, this time will pass - quicker, perhaps. And I'm just not ready to let it go.
Labels: Babies, Lila, Motherhood
2 Comments:
I remember when I got to big to be held easily, and I resented growing, for missing such complete human comfort.
It's a shame the stage passes so quickly. It's a gift to be a writer I think - and to notice all the details, to not let them slip by, unseen.
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