Sunday, May 20, 2007
Coming Clean
(I wrote this the other night, then quickly filed it away as a draft. I wrote it only as a challenge to myself, to come clean about the things I never mention here - things that, in the grand scheme of things aren't terribly important, but are a part of who I am, and I've felt that by not expressing them, I've somehow been hiding them...)

I write because writer's have the luxury of hiding behind closed doors, between bookends, away from debate. Specifically, I write fiction because it is something completely free from the jurisdiction of reality, with all it's arguments, opinions, and misunderstandings. Even here, where I'm "open" about my life, I prefer to write about others, or school, or the poop my kid smeared all over his bedroom- when the reality is, it's only a shadow of who I am.

I'm nearly silent here about the things that keep my husband and I awake at night. The hours we spend discussing our world, politics, beliefs, the planet, the future. I'm quiet, because I so loathe debate that I'm almost considering turning off the comments box on this post. I'm quiet because while I know what I believe and why, I am not a great orator, and my gifting with words is for fiction only. And although I'm passionate and opinionated, I'm also compassionate and understanding and would have a terrible time trying to explain to someone why I think that certain choices are wrong.

Now you see? There's the beginning of my troubles - I believe that there is absolute right and wrong. It's something that, if someone knew nothing else about me, might make them turn away from the start. I'm quiet, because I never want to be the person who makes someone uncomfortable. I don't say much, because I'm more interested in knowing people than in being right at the end of an argument.

Having said all that - my writing, my family, this blog, everything that I say and do is sprung from the core values that I live by. And even if I never mention them here again, as an exercise in honesty in the otherwise oft-murky blogosphere, I'm going to just come out with them.

For the faithful readers of The Empty Sky, I don't suspect you'll find any surprises. But for me, this feeling of putting my thoughts and beliefs out there is actually quite terrifying. Surprises or not.

Here goes:

I'm a Christian. Not news, I know. But I feel the need to clarify. I am neither the televangelist watcher who hands out tracts on airplanes, nor am I the "special occasion" (Wedding/Funeral/Christmas/Easter) church goer. I am born again, baptised and passionate about God and raising my family according the guidance given us in the Bible. Had I not met my husband, I planned on being a (probably single) missionary traveling around Eastern Europe, putting my hands and heart to the best possible use.

I am pro-life, and strongly so. And while I mean it in the obvious sense, that I'm against abortion, I also mean that I am for all of human life. If ever there is a question where life is in the balance, I prefer to err on the side of life.

Now for the tough one, especially as I was raised in the midnight blue state of Massachusetts. Though I first registered as an independent - I am married to a card carrying member of the GOP, and I cannot foresee a time in the near future when I could ever vote democrat. (Please, don't shoot.) Of course, this doesn't mean that I adore all Republicans either. I am not a blind voter.

Speaking of which, I'm just going to sputter these out quickly and move on: I am against big government, against amnesty for people who have broken the law to establish themselves in our country and could potentially wind up living off of our tax dollars sooner, for having cheated the system. I like democracy, I like the constitution and while our government is flawed (not referring to the specific administration that's bungling things at the moment - but the principles of our government at their core), it has great potential, and I fear for the future if we lean too far in either direction.

And because it has been in the news lately - I believe in climate-change and in being responsible with the habitat we have been provided with. Having said that, I also fall into the category of people who believe that it is a natural occurrence, that the planet goes through warming and cooling periods and that things are being spun, stretched and pushed in an alarmist manner. (Note: You still won't see me tossing litter from my private jet as I fill the sky with CO2 anytime soon.)

I'm ever aware that while I do have these opinions on life and politics, that things are always changing, new facts presenting themselves, new discoveries made, and I so I don't ever let myself sit too comfortably on my opinions. Perhaps another reason why I don't share them often...or, ever.

My faith, however, is unwavering. And though the world may change, God does not.

I'm sure there are more confessions, opinions, beliefs that I should/could/would say, but it's midnight and I am spent.

If you've read this far - I can very nearly promise you that you'll never read anything even remotely this blunt, political and potentially controversial again. As I said, this was an exercise - one that I've been considering for quite some time. Coming clean.

Thank you for reading. Stay tuned, The Empty Sky will return with lighter blogger-fare momentarily.

(Also, because I do so loathe debates, I have decided to turn the comment box off on this one. This was more of a challenge for myself than an attempt to instigate political/religious/cultural debate - not that that's a bad thing. If you do have anything you'd like to say, please do drop me a note - my email address is in my profile.)

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