Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Closure
It occurred to me as we wound through twilight-lit roads last evening. It came, not as a terrible thought, or even as a sad one - only as a simple hmm amongst a myriad of other thoughts to share with my husband on a rare toddler-less drive.

It was: I would've been holding our second baby right now, had we not experienced our first loss (my due date had been May 2nd)

The thought wound its way through me and out into the air between us. We paused for a moment of reflection before letting it dissolve between us, spoken and vanished in the course of a three minute conversation; neither of us any sadder or different than before it was uttered.

It wasn't simply a thought though, or a fact, or a reason to stop and ponder the what-if's of our lives.

It was closure.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Weird said...

Closure is nice, I wish it was always that cleanly attainable.

Glad to hear you beat the illness and are back in action.

Weird

Blogger Susanna Rose said...

Mella,

Beautiful writing as always! I see with my mother who bore five children but lost two others(one at five months) that as much as closure comes, it is natural and fine to always remember the little one that was but never actually got to experience this world. Infact, we always grew up knowing that there were two siblings we would get to know in heaven and that is an exciting thought! Anyways, I think it is awesome that you and your husband got the chance to get out alone and talk...so important.

Blogger Cigamybab said...

Love Your Templete Nice Blog

Blogger zhoen said...

Closing the wound. Healing, growing, scars as proof of life continuing.

Blogger zhoen said...

Closing the wound. Healing, growing, scars as proof of life continuing.

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