Monday, December 05, 2005
Babies & Hardwood Floors
The Boss is learning his ABC's and his No-No's. He knows, for example, that No means stop and look innocently at Mama before attempting for a second time the activity that caused Mama to say no in the first place. He knows that after a second No - it's time to pull out the charm. Look at Mama & flash an impish little grin. Wait for her to turn to another adult to discuss how cute her son is, and then return to the no-no activity.

The third No is accompanied by the sound of Mama standing up - this elicits panic in The Boss. What began as slow curiosity (Where do these stairs lead? What will happen if I put this wire in my mouth?) turns into a flurry of flustered movement - mostly random slapping. His panicked thoughts are written all over his little round face: Good god, how fast can I shove this cat food in my mouth?

By this point, the fourth, fifth and sixth No's are raining down on him and his brain hands the reigns over to his spastic little body, which responds appropriately: a screech, some tears and a dramatic face-plant on whatever surface is nearest to his head.

We're asking Santa for a baby-sized helmet this year.

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13 Comments:

Blogger Fame said...

Haha! cute!

Blogger Ellen said...

Mella- I popped over from Neos blog and read through your posts.
How delightful you write! I laughed, cried and was truly taken with your stories. I hope you don't mind that I've added you to my favorites file. Keep up the great work!

Blogger Mella said...

Thank you so much, Ellen ~ I'm flattered!

Blogger mreddie said...

And he does all this by instinct, they are amazing little critters. I have a couple of toddler "grands" that probably need a helmet as well. Enjoyed the post and the chuckle. ec

Blogger LJ said...

Sound of coffee being laughed through nose.

Blogger Sarah said...

Working with a toddler or a preschooler is really tough. I'm in grad school for speech pathology so I deal with behavior problems everyday. I hope you don't mind some unsolicited advice, but I wonder if repeating 'no' might make it pretty meaningless to him. You could re-phrase it to "don't blank," so he knows exactly what it is that he's doing wrong. Thereby reserving 'no' for serious offenses (i.e. the stove). Another thing I've learned about in grad school is "1,2,3...Magic." Although you don't say his age, and it might not work for someone that young, one thing that might work is trying a countdown. Normally kids don't want to see what happens at the end of the countdown, even if there's nothing, because it just sounds threatening! Hope this helps! :) Love your blog -- you're a great writer (and parent)!

Blogger david C said...

How old is the boss now? we are expecting our first, and I am wondering when this particular part of lifes learning adventures will manifest....

Blogger Neo said...

Mella -Ha! Cute, sounds like a handful!

Blogger Mella said...

David ~ Congratulationson expecting your first! When is he/she due? The Boss will be turning one this month - expect to see a proud-mommy-photo post just before Christmas with pics from his first year.

Blogger david C said...

We are expecting end of May, early june. We still have many things to do before this. We must do one last trip as humans without children, though the social drinking aspect is now removed, and we are selling our house in the big city and buying a new one out on the coast (and near the doting grandparents/emergency baby sitters). Our adventures are now about to change and we are soooo happy about it!

Miss Mella,
Sounds like you are having quite the time.
Amazing how they change so quickly, and gain so much character as they go. Enjoy it all.
Thinking of you.

Blogger Mella said...

David ~ You're certainly right, your adventures are about to change - but I'm guessing you'll be like my husband, who swears that having a child was the best thing we've ever done. The little guy adds something totally new to everyday life. And he makes us look at the world with fresh eyes. And, we laugh more now than ever before, which I didn't think was possible.

Oh! And definitely take full advantage of the "doting grandparents" as babysitters. I can't tell you how much of a lifeline having my parents and inlaws around to watch my son has been.

Blogger Lenae said...

I have no idea if you'll actually see this comment since the post is from '05, but I found your page from Owlhaven and somehow stumbled onto this! So... it's hilarious! Very accurate. I laughed out loud.

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