Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Just Me?
My husband gave me the word that he won't be able to come with me out to Ohio for the writer's conference in June. I knew he wouldn't be able to, not with having just started at his new position. But still, I had hoped. And when he finally came out and said No, my gut reaction was to backpedal and not go at all.

Am I so co-dependent that I can't even face one week apart from him?

Seven years ago, I was wandering Europe - alone - fully convinced that I would never marry and that this would be my life. Bumping around the world, overnight trains, dirt streets, nickle bread lunches from small town markets, muddy knees, worn boots, hands well used.

Yet, here I am. Mortgage. Cars. Kids. Movie rentals in my mailbox, for my shopping needs (why go out into the world when I can buy things with my finger tips and wearing PJ's?) I walk nowhere alone, unless you count the mailbox.

When I first met my husband, I was a different girl. A behind the wheel girl. Literally, I had a car, he did not. That changed in the first six months of our relationship - he got his vehicle back on the road and I've relinquished the wheel ever since. I guess even more than I realized.

So, I'm trying to warm up to this idea: I'm going on an adventure all my own. A plane ride, a rental car, a week of virtual silence (compared to a house with two children) and a laptop (well, not yet, need to purchase one...anyone have one they'd like to sell for cheap? I can't pay much, but I can credit you in the acknowledge part of my first publication. Eh?)

I'm trying to imagine coffee shops and diners and morning workshops and evenings spent maybe even talking and socializing with other writer's - imagine that. No TV. No sounds of my husband playing Halo in the next room. No cat at my feet or kids on my brain. Just me.

It's almost to crazy to conjure such a possibility in the realms of my imagination. Yet it will be here before I know it.

And just now, typing this, I feel a glimmer of excitement for it. A good sign. Maybe it's not too late for that girl yet.

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Blogger Susanna Rose said...

I've done a few trips alone since being married and though they've all been to see family and thus the destination is a little more familiar, I think it is refreshing yet hard at the same time. Refreshing because since having a child, it is nice to have a little break and yet hard because a huge part of my heart is with my husband and son-more than I even realize until I'm away!:) Enjoy yourself at the Writer's Conference (let us all in on some of the things you learn too!) and enjoy the fact that a little distance once in a while really does make the heart grow fonder!!:)

Anonymous phx said...

I'm sure that conference is going to keep you really busy. It will be a great adventure for both you and that girl. :)

Whenever I visit my parents I miss my hubby a lot...but just keep in mind how sweet your return will be.

Blogger Julie said...

Mella, I went to Kenyon and I can tell you a few things about both Gambier and Mt. Vernon that will help your stay be comfy. And I can tell you a few folks to say hi to and tell them that you virtually know me and they'll make your visit fun. :)
E-mail me. If you don't have my address, visit my blog again and leave me a note.

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