Friday, March 02, 2007
For the Love of Coffee
For anyone who was concerned that I may not be the coolest kid on the block, let me put your fears to rest. I am not only the coolest kid on the block, I believe that as of 9 AM this morning, I officially became The Coolest Woman - ever.

Many thanks to myself for the lack of sleep I've been getting and my crippling caffeine addiction. I would also like to thank whoever from my family tree passed down the clumsy gene, or the gene that makes you walk face-first into plates of glass, which apparently does run in my family. My brother has walked himself into glass also. Of course, he was five at the time and in a house of mirrors - as opposed to being twenty-seven and at a Dunkin Donuts in the mall.

Story goes like this:

9:00 - Walk face-first into window that I thought was a door at Dunkin Donuts.

9:01 - Explain to the witnesses who saw me make a gigantic fool of myself that I am, indeed, "OK" (despite throbbing nose and massively bruised ego)

9:02: - Stand in the back of the line, lean head against wall and think "Do not cry. Do not cry. Do not cry."

9:03 - Move to front of line, open mouth to begin ordering, but pause when the Dunkin Donuts employee gestures to his nose and points at the napkins. Ah ha. I'm bleeding.

9:04 - Manage to order large black hazelnut, while dabbing blood from bridge of nose and attempting to hold back a tidal wave of tears.

9:05 - Get free coffee from nice Dunkin Donuts employee and then carefully maneuver back out into the mall (quietly fuming at window-washers who do their job a little too well.)

Here's the bloody bump, all cleaned up. (The swelling doesn't show up very well in this picture, but it's there)


The bump looks really tiny and nonexistent here...but my nose doesn't normally bump up at all. it's more of an indented slope.


And here is my husband mocking me for taking pictures of my Dunkin' Donut's Nose. Notice the bump on his nose. (But, his is from a baseball or something more normal. Something not as absurd as plowing full-speed ahead into a window.)

So, my question is...having made a complete and utter idiot of yourself in public, what is the protocol for recovery? Do you try to laugh it off? Do you turn around and walk away? Or do you get in line and order coffee as though nothing happened. As though the people there didn't just see your face smooshed up against a plate of glass - bewildered and shocked. As if you weren't a dumb bird who just flew into a wall. Because that's how I handled it, but I'm not sure if it's because I felt the need to just carry on like nothing was wrong, or if I really just needed my coffee so badly that I shrugged off the enormous embarrassment and carried onward to get it.

Either way - it was free. And, really, how bad can a story be if it ends with free coffee?

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9 Comments:

Blogger zhoen said...

Bravely, with your own sense of humor, only way. Then they have to laugh WITH you, since you are laughing. We've all been there.

And, hey, free coffee.

Blogger dillyweed said...

The winter just after I finished graduate school seemed to be the season for personal embarrasment for me and let me tell you this: if you aren't laughing now, you certainly will later on. Plus you'll have "the best embarrasing story" at all social events from here on out. So how's that for ya?
Mine included being walked in on in the bathroom in a very awkward way by a male coworker and having a dreamscicle stuck to my face (yeah, like the Dumb and Dumber scene with the ski-lift). That's me.
Welcome to the world of "good stories" - you are officially initiated!
xo, B

Blogger Skye said...

Oooh, ouch, Mella! I can definitely see the swelling. I think it was very brave of you to go ahead and order the coffee after that!

Don't feel too silly, though; you are not the only one. I walked into a brick wall on my way to a Sociology class in college, as I was searching through the contents of my purse and didn't see the wall coming. Bashed my forehead and scraped my hand. Felt completely humiliated when a passer-by stopped to ask if I was okay. I politely said yes, then carried on walking to class, trying not to cry. Fortunately, enough time has passed that this is now a funny story! Actually, it became funny pretty quickly. Telling other people about it will do that.

Blogger owlhaven said...
Blogger Susanna Rose said...

Yay...I can finally post again after not being able to for over a week...something with blogger and very annoying!

Anyways, I'm sorry about your little incident yesterday. I've had SO many similar things happen in my life because I'm VERY clumsy. I go too by the notion that just carrying on and pretending nothing happened is the best way. Along the way, I sing that song popular in the nineties (Weezer sang it I guess), "I don't care what they say about me. I don't care about that!" Try singing that in your head next time...it helps!;)

P.S. Love the pics, especially the one of you and your husband!

Blogger TrappedInColorado said...

Ha! Everyone has done that. You did the right thing by continuing onward to the caffiene fix. If you had not satisfied the addiction you would have made a mountain out of a small bump on the bridge of your nose. BTW: You have a nice profile! :) Still my favorite blogger.

Blogger Teri said...

You are my hero for sauntering in there and getting your black coffee with your That's right, I just walked into a window. What the fuck's YOUR deal? attitude.

I would have slinked away (to Starbucks!) with my tail between my legs. But you...you ARE the Coolest Woman Ever!

::smooch on the nose::

Blogger LJ said...

Let's face it, there is NO way to look slick after that kind of accident.
Getting up, buying the coffee and bleeding with your head (and swollen nose)held high is the most grace you could wring out of such a situation.
Good on yah! And fast healing.

Blogger Mella said...

Thanks everyone - I'm feeling quite cool. Nose has healed almost completely, and the humor of the situation has fully set in.

My sister thought I should've mentioned that this entire incident took place moments before an eye doctor's appointment, where my face would've been the subject of examination. (I cancelled the appointment shortly after being introduced to the window, nose first)

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