For the Love of Coffee

For anyone who was concerned that I may not be the coolest kid on the block, let me put your fears to rest. I am not only the coolest kid on the block, I believe that as of 9 AM this morning, I officially became The Coolest Woman - ever.

Many thanks to myself for the lack of sleep I've been getting and my crippling caffeine addiction. I would also like to thank whoever from my family tree passed down the clumsy gene, or the gene that makes you walk face-first into plates of glass, which apparently does run in my family. My brother has walked himself into glass also. Of course, he was five at the time and in a house of mirrors - as opposed to being twenty-seven and at a Dunkin Donuts in the mall.

Story goes like this:

9:00 - Walk face-first into window that I thought was a door at Dunkin Donuts.

9:01 - Explain to the witnesses who saw me make a gigantic fool of myself that I am, indeed, "OK" (despite throbbing nose and massively bruised ego)

9:02: - Stand in the back of the line, lean head against wall and think "Do not cry. Do not cry. Do not cry."

9:03 - Move to front of line, open mouth to begin ordering, but pause when the Dunkin Donuts employee gestures to his nose and points at the napkins. Ah ha. I'm bleeding.

9:04 - Manage to order large black hazelnut, while dabbing blood from bridge of nose and attempting to hold back a tidal wave of tears.

9:05 - Get free coffee from nice Dunkin Donuts employee and then carefully maneuver back out into the mall (quietly fuming at window-washers who do their job a little too well.)

Here's the bloody bump, all cleaned up. (The swelling doesn't show up very well in this picture, but it's there)

The bump looks really tiny and nonexistent here...but my nose doesn't normally bump up at all. it's more of an indented slope.

And here is my husband mocking me for taking pictures of my Dunkin' Donut's Nose. Notice the bump on his nose. (But, his is from a baseball or something more normal. Something not as absurd as plowing full-speed ahead into a window.)

So, my question is...having made a complete and utter idiot of yourself in public, what is the protocol for recovery? Do you try to laugh it off? Do you turn around and walk away? Or do you get in line and order coffee as though nothing happened. As though the people there didn't just see your face smooshed up against a plate of glass - bewildered and shocked. As if you weren't a dumb bird who just flew into a wall. Because that's how I handled it, but I'm not sure if it's because I felt the need to just carry on like nothing was wrong, or if I really just needed my coffee so badly that I shrugged off the enormous embarrassment and carried onward to get it.

Either way - it was free. And, really, how bad can a story be if it ends with free coffee?