Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Past Due
There's a bill on the table. It's the second notice. The first notice arrived just days before Christmas and was swiftly swept beneath a stack of Things to Do After The Boss's Birthday.

Looking at it now, it's only a thin folded piece of white paper declaring the bold words: Past Due. Harmless enough. Until I unfold it and read the charges. Then it becomes something so cruel. A harsh demand. An mean reminder. Pay us for what we did for you. Give us what little money you have to cover what insurance didn't.

Logically, I know that it's not a lot of money. Our insurance is, thankfully, quite good.

It's just that no matter of money seems a fair price to pay for the procedure that cleaned my womb and broke my heart.



Blogger mreddie said...

Talk about adding insult to injury. We've been out of town a few days but I saw the photo of the Boss and the cupcake and it was priceless. ec

Blogger JunieRose2005 said...


So sad, what you had to go through!

I'm sorry - at the same time am so grateful that I never had to suffer such a loss! Please don't think that makes less my feelings for yours! It doesn't!

When I read your post my first thoughts were-'Poor little Mella', because you are so expressive in your posts I kind of feel like I know you! :) You seem like you could be a friend of my kids - or that girl next door that we watched grow up!

...But you got that sweet little Boss there to be thankful for! Treasure him every day!

Looks like he enjoyed his birthday cake! :)


Blogger Dragonfly Soup said...

If I could see you right now I'd give you a big hug. That is if you don't mind being hugged by a complete stranger.

I'm so sorry for the loss you have gone through and I thank you for being brave enough to share it here.

The Boss certainly enjoyed that cupcake - what a sweetie!

Blogger tara dawn said...

I happened to stumble upon your blog while browsing and have really enjoyed reading several of your entries. This particular post captured me immediately as my best friend wrote an entry almost identical to this a couple of months ago. Though I have not experienced such loss myself, my empathy and compassion is with you.
Your writing is truly exquisite. The piece on "holding your husband's hand for the first time"...the simplicity of beauty in its most honest form.
I look forward to reading more of your writing. Please feel free to check out my blog site as well.

Blogger LJ said...

Pay it sweetie. So you don't have to look at it for another minute and be reminded.

Blogger Mella said...

I'm really doing ok. The bill just happened to catch my eye as I was sitting down to write, and so this post is what came out.

Thanks for the sweet words though. And Junie, no need to apologize for feeling a sense of "thank goodness it wasn't me" - because I feel the same way. I'm truly glad for every woman that this hasn't ever happened to.

Blogger Neo said...

Mella -Gotta luck that greed eh?

Times are tough for everyone. Hang in there. *hugs*


- Neo

Blogger Chris said...

The child was stolen. The bill is ransom. Pay it and begin to heal.


Blogger Teri said...

ouch...salt in a wound. wishing you so much peace...xo

Blogger Chris said...

I have found, through my own experiences along these lines, that the little 'everyday reminders' are the ones which hurt the most. Once they are gone, the healing process can begin.

The wound will never heal fully... but we can at least ease the pain.

My thoughts are with you, sweet lady, and always will be.


Blogger Mella said...

Chris and Teri Thank you so much.

The check is in the mail, so to speak.

Now, to breath and move on.

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